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CrystalColumbus
USA
8 Posts |
 Posted - 12 Aug 2004 : 10:46:47 PM
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Hi.
Bottom line. I have heard it all.
*God is testing my faith
*God doesn't give more than we can handle
*God works in His Time
*There must be some sin in your life
*Sow a seed offering
*Go to a healing service
*Confess his word over your situation
*Take Authority
*Let Go and Let God
* and many many more. I could go on all day.
Basically, I was born with a disease that makes my skin look like that of an elephant. Literally. It is thick and grey, and people treat me like an outcast.
I have done everything from A to Z... and still- nothing.
The standard when people are going through this is that there must be some kind of lesson, but what kind of lesson does a newborn baby need to learn???? I was born this way... why do i need to lead a life of utter pain and solitude to learn some obscure mystery lesson? What kind of cruel God afflicts disease on people and leaves them wandering in life to "figure it out???"
If God's grace is so free, and He wants to heal me so bad, why can't he find it in his compassion to just do it and let me live a happy life instead of the life of an angry bitter recluse.
There cannot possibly be a God. I used to be a firm believer. I used to go to church 2 or three times a week, and witness to every person that would listen. I am responsible for getting some of my family members into the church. I was even going to go to seminary and become a minister.... but why?
I am dangling by a thread here.
Need someone to help me sort this out, because I am headed out the door.
I can do bad by myself. |
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RammsteinMarine
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 16 Aug 2004 : 09:31:37 AM
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I feel for you. But know this..God did not participate in your conception, nor in your gene make up. This is an earthly thing. Its the luck of the draw. I do not wish to sound bitter. But if god would help you, he'd like you to stop moaping. Jesus was meant to make humanity pure again.
Robert Mac Ineghe |
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BurninFuel20
USA
36 Posts |
Posted - 16 Aug 2004 : 12:05:48 PM
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hey bro,
So you live life with this skin disease, right?
Your angry and bitter and hate living, u dont think theres a God especially a loving, merciful one. I dont know if you've read the bible or not, but there are many instances of people born with this disease and that one, heck, moses was a stutterer, but God used him anyway. You being bitter wont change anything, u believing God dont exist wont help you either, if God dont exist then that would mean Satan dont either, right? well my friend Satan does, the evil things some of these people commit and the look in their eyes testify that satan exists, and i've had my run ins with him as well, dont believe what satan tells you.
I saw a guy who was totally in love with Jesus and evangelized to many, he was changing a flat tire one day and a car hit him and he had to lose his legs, but heres the difference between you and him, he didnt think it was punishment, he knew it was God's grace that he could live another day, he didnt look at what he lost, he looked at what he had. you moan and groan because your an outcast, but there are those who dont have the luxury that you do of talking, or hearing or walking, theres a deaf girl on here who loves God and evangelizes to the deaf, she dont look at it with anger or bitterness, God made her that way so she could tell the deaf about Jesus.
He made you that way so you could glorify Him, look at what you have that others dont, be joyful that you can be fed each day, when there are children who dont eat, God loves them as well, but because of our ancestors choice to disobey God, thats why we have death and disease, look forward to the day when God gives you a new body beatiful and without sickness. and be grateful that you have the ability that others would die to have. so your an outcast, so what, jesus said this:John 15:18
18 "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.
If you came to those who truly are of Christ, life and example, you'd be seen just as anyone else, A Brother in Christ. Go to someone who is filled with the Holy Spirit so much that at a word you'd be healed, Jesus healed the lame, diseased, and said we would be able to as well. Mark 16:17
17And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18they[2] will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."
Keyword: Believe, the reason why now a days our chirstians cant becuz they lack the faith and love, and Spirit, i study His word, love others the way Christ said and pray constantly, the day is coming when I will do as Jesus had said, I just have to let God take away the sins that need to leave my life. Believe in Christ, in God, and stop looking at WHAT YOU DONT HAVE. He will heal you if you just let Him take out your anger, bitterness, and ungratefulness, and every other thing thats wrong with you. outcast, we all are, i'm an outcast too, my friends that i had before Christ, all look at me funny, make fun of me and everything else, but you know what, I know that I have God in me, and He will never outcast me, forget about everyone else bro. Hope this gets you thinking, if you still decide to forget about God, not only your body will suffer now, but your soul will FOREVER, a lil disease now is better than eternal suffering, example for ya: its like taking $10,000 now when you would recieve $10,000,000 in 10 years.
Your choice, but i'm here for you whatever choice you make, and so is God. I let go of the bitterness and now i live with joy, even after losing my job in march, i still praised Him, now i have the joy of growing closer to Him. God WILL HEAL YOU, you just need to draw closer to Him, come to Him for the relationship, not the healing of the skin thing, be a living testimony, its better to suffer as an outcast and bring hundreds to Jesus and save their souls, than to be healed and let hundreds of people lose their souls.
Lovin on everyone in the name of Jesus,
Bobby |
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KingsKid7
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - 16 Aug 2004 : 12:44:20 PM
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Hey there CrystalColumbus! Everybodys got problems & sometimes there is no lesson except to learn to love & accept yourself for who you are regaurdless of what other people think. It doent matter what desease you've got--God loves you equally as much as any other if not more. Acceptance is the solution to all your problems today..."Man looks on the outward appearance...God looks on the heart." People will always let you down---God never will. Hang in there & get busy serving God & seeking His will in His timing. We'll be praying.....
Love & Peace in Christ,
Jody |
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bornanew
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 16 Aug 2004 : 4:03:27 PM
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CrystalColumbus-
I want to encourage you to keep the faith in our Lord. I don't know why you born with this disease, but then there are many people who are born with problems that effect the inside of the body that doesn't show. Some are able to lead very happy lives and others struggle every day with their difficulties. However, one thing I can assure you is that this lifetime is absolutely nothing compared to our lifespan, the joy and unlimited love we will share with our Lord and Savior when we die. I believe without a doubt that there is purpose for you being here on earth.
quote:
I am responsible for getting some of my family members into the church.
The fact that you were able to do this and save people's eternal life shows me the important effect you had so far.
All I can offer is the power of prayer for endurance and growing faith in God's power and love for you. Do you think you may have been guided to come to this prayer forum to get support and feedback? I think so. Don't allow Satan anymore power of your life. He is draining you of your vital positiveness that you have inside with fear, doubt, anger and faith. This is exactly what he wants to do. He will use all your negative energy to win his way. Please remain strong and read the bible and pray when you feel dishearted. It has always helped me. I will pray for you as well. |
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aiki
Canada
594 Posts |
Posted - 21 Aug 2004 : 3:33:23 PM
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Whoa. You sound truly miserable, CrystalColumbus. 
quote:
The standard when people are going through this is that there must be some kind of lesson, but what kind of lesson does a newborn baby need to learn???? I was born this way... why do i need to lead a life of utter pain and solitude to learn some obscure mystery lesson? What kind of cruel God afflicts disease on people and leaves them wandering in life to "figure it out???"
You know, God is not in the business of confusing us and hiding the truth from us. He is "not the author of confusion", the Bible says (1 Cor. 14:33). I don't believe God has some obscure lesson to teach you. He is doing in you the very same thing that He is doing in all of His children:
"For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren." (Ro. 8:29)
God is working in each of His children the character of Christ. This is what He is always doing in all the circumstances we face in life.
God has not cruelly afflicted you and then left you to wander through life asking, "Why?". Part of the reason you have a disease is because of the corruption that sin has brought into our world. This is not God's doing, but man's. Beyond this it is impossible to say exaclty what God's thinking is concerning your disease. However, we do know that, in spite of your physical problem, God is loving, merciful, and faithful. He hasn't changed into some evil, malicious character because He made you as He did. What God wants from you -- and from all of us -- is to trust that, even under conditions that are painful and hard, He is still a loving heavenly Father. And we believe this, not because we can always see that this is so, but simply because He has said in His Word that it is so. This is why faith is such a vital part of walking with God. Remember, "the just shall live by faith" and "for without faith it is impossible to please God". There are many times when what we experience does not seem to bear out the claims of the Bible and it is in these times that we must simply choose to trust that God is still who He has said He is. When we do, peace and the capacity to bear up under our burdens comes to us. When we do not, we are soon seized by despair (such as you are presently experiencing).
Ultimately, God wants us to be completely satisfied just with Him. OUr joy in life should be derived from being in HIs presence, not from family, friends, career, health, or material goods. Sounds like a platitude, I know, but it is, nonetheless, the truth.
quote:
If God's grace is so free, and He wants to heal me so bad, why can't he find it in his compassion to just do it and let me live a happy life instead of the life of an angry bitter recluse.
What makes you think God "wants to heal you so bad"? He didn't heal the apostle Paul of his thorn in the flesh. He didn't prevent eleven of the twelve disciples from suffering execution (Peter may have even been crucified upside down). Actually, God intends to keep us weak and dependant :
"And He said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities...for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Cor. 12:9, 10)
I'm sorry to have to be blunt, but you have chosen the life of a bitter recluse; God hasn't forced this upon you. You have made the absence of your disease the basis upon which your happiness in life rests. Do you not see the deceitful work of Satan in this thinking? You have made happiness impossible under the conditions you have set for it. God says that happiness is found in knowing Him, not in being accepted socially. There are blind, sick, destitute, lonely people all over the globe who have found in Christ relief in the midst if their troubles. They were not made well, or rich, or popular. They found happiness in a person. You can too -- if you so choose.
What has happened to turn you upon the road you're now travelling? You said at one time that your walk with God was better than it is presently. I assume this was so even though you still had your skin problem. It seems, then, that it isn't solely your disease that has provoked your present unhappiness. What has happened?
I know what it is to be lonely. I have often felt like an outsider and alone. But, I am never truly alone. God is always with me. Often, though, it is only when I am feeling alone that I turn to face God fully with my mind and heart. When I do, there is only comfort and love that embraces me and I wonder why i turned away from Him in the first place.
In Christ, Aiki.
Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man comes to the Father but by me." Jn. 14:6 |
Edited by - aiki on 28 Aug 2004 11:47:33 AM |
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kings kid
USA
69 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2004 : 10:57:23 AM
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Hi there CrystalColumbus,
I just read your post, and my heart goes out to you. I just want you to know that I will be praying for you. God does Love you, and he wants you to serve him and to have faith in him. I can understand your being angry, but please give this to God, he is there for you. There is power in prayer, and as I said I will be praying for you. Praying that you will be drawn closer to God, and not distance yourself from God. God is with you.
Your Sister in Christ Jesus,
Peggy <><
kings kid <>< |
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CrystalColumbus
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2004 : 01:20:27 AM
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Hello All.
I want to begin by first thanking you all for replying to this topic. I have read your replies, and they have been truly helpful.
Let me first start by replying to Aiki. I thank you for replying, and I feel that I should qualify one of the statements I made in my previous post. When I stated that God was appearing slack in healing me, when others have stated that he "wants to do so bad[ly]," I was referring to previous things that have happened in my spiritual walk to cause me to believe that he does want to heal my body. And, quite frankly, I still do believe that God wants to heal my condition. It has been spiritually revealed to me and confirmed on several occasions during my life, but to my chagrin it has not occurred thus far. I have been believing this for years, in most cirucumstances unmovably. I will continue to believe it. I believe he is a healer and that he is true to his word, and he is not a man that he should lie, neither does his word return to him void.
I must admit that the weeks after posting this thread have caused me to become quite reflective on my past attitudes and beliefs about who God is and who we are in this world. After being in a place of strong offense and stubbornness, I went to church and really enjoyed and related to the sermon, which was about the heart condition of God's people in this day and age, a subject that God and I have conversed about on several occassions. This sermon and several recent events (which I am about to describe) have caused me to remember and seriously reconsider my place and purpose in God's kingdom today- spiritually, economically, and health wise.
To be more descriptive, I re-joined a support group that I'd purposely abandoned a couple of years ago because I did not want to deal with the realities of my disorder. Although my condition is unattractive and difficult to care for, my case is still considered mild, and I re-learned that just this week. Upon rejoining the support group, I became acquainted with several people from both the United States and other countries who are living day to day with this condition. Some of them are in such bad shape that they cannot move and have become dependent on medications. When I posted on the message board there, several of them reached out to me, and reminded me that "no man is an island," even when your little plot of land seems to be the only one at sea.
I guess what I am trying to say is that in all of this, what I have learned is that God puts us in position for our hearts to become softened to the conditions and struggles of others. I used to know this, but somehow it got lost along the way. For the last few days, I have been in regular contact with people like me- and this alone is somewhat "healing." I have been able to tell others that they are valuable, and in my crippled condition, I have been able to be a leaning post to someone else. I am starting to understand how Job could say: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."
I do not want you all to think that I think somehow God is saying "see, look others have it worse than you, so quit whining." I do not think that at all. What I do think is that he is showing me how his power really does work in my weakness, and how i can still be used when i feel low and "worthless."
While I can honestly say that my heart is becoming more and more fertile every day, this journey is a lifelong one for me. I am not trying to come off like I have the answers now, because I still don't, and I still wonder where I fit in sometimes. However, there is a little bit of light at the end of my tunnel again. I can finally see it, and it's beautiful
I am sorry this is so long. I could actually go on all night, but I won't.
Thanks again. You are all wonderful people. Please walk away from this post knowing that you have been used of God.
Crystal
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aiki
Canada
594 Posts |
Posted - 28 Aug 2004 : 11:58:41 AM
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Crystal:
I am greatly encouraged to see how God has worked with you in your situation. Thanks for sharing. I wonder how I would handle a difficulty of the sort you're enduring. I guess that is in God's hands isn't it?
I hope God does indeed heal you.
Thanks again for a spiritually uplifting post.
IN Christ, Aiki.
Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man comes to the Father but by me." Jn. 14:6 |
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trcbv
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - 03 Sep 2004 : 4:12:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BurninFuel20
hey bro,
So you live life with this skin disease, right?
Your angry and bitter and hate living, u dont think theres a God especially a loving, merciful one. I dont know if you've read the bible or not, but there are many instances of people born with this disease and that one, heck, moses was a stutterer, but God used him anyway. You being bitter wont change anything, u believing God dont exist wont help you either, if God dont exist then that would mean Satan dont either, right? well my friend Satan does, the evil things some of these people commit and the look in their eyes testify that satan exists, and i've had my run ins with him as well, dont believe what satan tells you.
I saw a guy who was totally in love with Jesus and evangelized to many, he was changing a flat tire one day and a car hit him and he had to lose his legs, but heres the difference between you and him, he didnt think it was punishment, he knew it was God's grace that he could live another day, he didnt look at what he lost, he looked at what he had. you moan and groan because your an outcast, but there are those who dont have the luxury that you do of talking, or hearing or walking, theres a deaf girl on here who loves God and evangelizes to the deaf, she dont look at it with anger or bitterness, God made her that way so she could tell the deaf about Jesus.
He made you that way so you could glorify Him, look at what you have that others dont, be joyful that you can be fed each day, when there are children who dont eat, God loves them as well, but because of our ancestors choice to disobey God, thats why we have death and disease, look forward to the day when God gives you a new body beatiful and without sickness. and be grateful that you have the ability that others would die to have. so your an outcast, so what, jesus said this:John 15:18
18 "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.
If you came to those who truly are of Christ, life and example, you'd be seen just as anyone else, A Brother in Christ. Go to someone who is filled with the Holy Spirit so much that at a word you'd be healed, Jesus healed the lame, diseased, and said we would be able to as well. Mark 16:17
17And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18they[2] will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."
Keyword: Believe, the reason why now a days our chirstians cant becuz they lack the faith and love, and Spirit, i study His word, love others the way Christ said and pray constantly, the day is coming when I will do as Jesus had said, I just have to let God take away the sins that need to leave my life. Believe in Christ, in God, and stop looking at WHAT YOU DONT HAVE. He will heal you if you just let Him take out your anger, bitterness, and ungratefulness, and every other thing thats wrong with you. outcast, we all are, i'm an outcast too, my friends that i had before Christ, all look at me funny, make fun of me and everything else, but you know what, I know that I have God in me, and He will never outcast me, forget about everyone else bro. Hope this gets you thinking, if you still decide to forget about God, not only your body will suffer now, but your soul will FOREVER, a lil disease now is better than eternal suffering, example for ya: its like taking $10,000 now when you would recieve $10,000,000 in 10 years.
Your choice, but i'm here for you whatever choice you make, and so is God. I let go of the bitterness and now i live with joy, even after losing my job in march, i still praised Him, now i have the joy of growing closer to Him. God WILL HEAL YOU, you just need to draw closer to Him, come to Him for the relationship, not the healing of the skin thing, be a living testimony, its better to suffer as an outcast and bring hundreds to Jesus and save their souls, than to be healed and let hundreds of people lose their souls.
Lovin on everyone in the name of Jesus,
Bobby
Tracy R. Cadotte |
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Michelle Jewell
USA
277 Posts |
Posted - 04 Sep 2004 : 12:20:02 AM
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CrystalColumbus-
I have just returned to this forum after a long hiatus and yours is the first post I have read since then.
I can to some (although minor) extent relate to how you feel about your condition. I have scoliosis which required me to wear a back brace in my teen years to prevent the spine from curving worse therefore deforming me in an obvious way. It was caught early enough.
I used to believe (because I was taught) that I would and should be healed of this condition. Well, I wasn't, and I am not. Even though my case is very mild, I still cannot stand for long periods of time without a lot of pain, the muscles of my back do not align correctly and give me a great deal of pain at times, I cannot stand on both of my feet at the same time for long periods of time because one leg is "shorter" than the other due to this curvature.
Bottom line- There is no such thing as "take authority" or much of the rest you have heard along the lines of "name it and claim it" so-called "Christianity". It is an overblown "hyper" type of faith if you will. Anyway, I have come to believe that God DOES allow suffering without CAUSING it for reasons beyond our own understanding but yet for His Glory. I honestly still do not understand this fully as I have really been doing alot of reflecting on this. Why did God allow Job to suffer? We both know He didn't CAUSE the suffering, but He DID allow it. It was sort of an "in your face" kind of thing against Satan. Maybe that's the case with you.
Do you know that you are in a very prime if not enviable situation of being able to offer some very powerful efficacious prayer for others?
You can unite your sufferings with the sufferings of Christ (what He went through for us) on behalf of whoever you wish to pray for and that God's will be done)and that it will avail much?
Remember St. Paul? See Romans 8:17 and please forgive me, but I forget where he says that he completes what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ in his own body (NOT that Christ was or is lacking in any way, WE are.) I'll find it and get back to you.
Feel free to e-mail me at Mfaustina1@cs.com anytime and mention your user name in this forum at the title form of your e-mail so I'll know who it is. You do have much to be greatful for and God is definately at your side. God bless! - Michelle Jewell
Pax christi vobiscum! |
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Angelique1259
USA
56 Posts |
Posted - 05 Sep 2004 : 08:55:01 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by RammsteinMarine
I feel for you. But know this..God did not participate in your conception, nor in your gene make up. This is an earthly thing. Its the luck of the draw. I do not wish to sound bitter. But if god would help you, he'd like you to stop moaping. Jesus was meant to make humanity pure again.
Robert Mac Ineghe
Jeremiah 1: 5: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you..."
Sounds to me that God most certainly has everything to do with the makeup of our personhood; that we're "set apart," and born the way we are for a reason; as He mentioned: to be His chosen instrument.
Hence that statement, the only secret we don't know is "the purpose" given to each individual, that purpose then they must go directly to heart and God and find out for his and herself.
Angelique |
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Psalm91
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 11 Sep 2004 : 01:12:47 AM
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You suffer. I am sorry you suffer. Very sorry. The one thing Job never did was give us His faith in God or curse God.
If you use your disease and go talk to others in hospitals, rehabilation facilities, etc, God will bless you in ways you could never imagine. Show people that you still live for Him even though you don't look like you want to. Trust Him. He will bless you like you have never known before. You will truly find such joy that you never knew existed. Go ahead, try Him. Trust Him and you will not be disappointed. |
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kings kid
USA
69 Posts |
Posted - 12 Sep 2004 : 11:46:59 AM
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I have not been back here to this message board since I lasted posted my response to you. I see now that you are now feeling better about things. Praise God for that. If God used us, if God worked through us to help you, I praise God for that too! 
God Bless you, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Your Sister in Christ,
Peggy <><
kings kid <>< |
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Ron
7 Posts |
Posted - 13 Sep 2004 : 11:31:06 AM
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| Life is tough. Hell is on earth. Accept your challenge and look forward to the day you die and are given the best body you can imagine in the kingdom of God. Of course, to hasten your death will only result in God really getting pissed off at you. |
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Blessed_To_Be_Here
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 28 Sep 2004 : 06:56:14 AM
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| Hello Sister...I understand your feelings and say to you that you are blessed ! God works Miracles...By all medical asspect I should be dead myself...I am recovering from a stroke & Anurisom(total bleed out in my head) but by the grace of God I am still here to tell you about it...God has a purpose for all of us & the ones who "look down" upon you do not "know God".Just by believeing in the Lord & Professing Christs Love You may change MANY lives...Just think of it this way...You may Save Someone from Eternal Damnnation in the lakes of Hell.GOD DOES LOVE US ALL !!!Hope to see ya' in heaven Sister.Don't loose your faith...For we are Loved!!! That I am sure of |
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Ready to Walk Away From God
